Hunting as the Sun
Personal Power
Ever since I pulled the ‘Be the Hunter not the Hunted’ card in the weekly, I’ve been ruminating over what I want to say here about power. The first line of the card message asks: “Do you feel you are at the beck and call of circumstances, situations and relationships that are outside of your control?” and that brought to mind power, and yet control is not power. Power is not as easy to talk about as one might imagine. So, I have been thinking about my own relationship with power which has changed over the course of my life. For the longest time, every single one of my readings, for the collective and clients, would begin with the line “Never give up your power to a tarot reading or a tarot reader.” What I meant by this was not to give the reading authority in our lives. One of the biggest changes has been that I don’t really see power as a weapon or tool to be wielded, but rather a force or ability that comes from within each of us. I am very much influenced in this thinking by Sikh and Hindu teachings on Shakti, defined as “energy, ability, strength, effort, power, might, capability” by the Monier-Williams dictionary. The reason I make this distinction is that as a weapon, the focus externalises power, and is thus defined by what we do. As an animating force, we realise we are power, and that then changes our understanding of how we show up from that place.
This distinction has allowed me to reflect on my advice and provided an important filter for the well-meaning advice of others. Especially where an argument is being made against certain behaviours and beliefs, to support the one being proposed. Much of that advice, especially in the form of social media posts, where we are limited by how much we can say, used to irritate me. It wasn’t because I agreed or disagreed with them, but rather because, firstly, I felt uncomfortable with the idea of making someone else wrong to validate our own stance, even if it is a common tactic in social media. Secondly, I realised that everyone was right and wrong, depending on the context. Let me illustrate what I mean. Here is a list of well-meaning and, on the surface, empowering advice you may have heard often. I know I have said at least one of these in just about every reading I have ever done. But no matter how empowering a practice, it can easily become a disempowering habit.
Trust Your Intuition
Empowering: Listening to your gut can guide you in making authentic decisions.
Disempowering: Relying solely on intuition can lead to ignoring facts or expert advice.
Set and Achieve GoalsEmpowering: Goals provide direction and a sense of accomplishment.
Disempowering: Unrealistic goals can lead to frustration and a sense of failure.
Maintain BoundariesEmpowering: Boundaries protect your well-being and personal space.
Disempowering: Overly rigid boundaries can lead to isolation and hinder relationships.
Take ResponsibilityEmpowering: Owning your actions fosters accountability and growth.
Disempowering: Blaming yourself for everything can lead to undue stress, guilt and even shame.
Develop Self-AwarenessEmpowering: Understanding yourself helps in making informed choices.
Disempowering: Overanalysing can lead to self-criticism and analysis paralysis.
Cultivate Self-AcceptanceEmpowering: Embracing your flaws fosters self-love and confidence.
Disempowering: Acceptance without effort to improve can lead to complacency.
Practice Self-CareEmpowering: Prioritising well-being ensures you are at your best.
Disempowering: Excessive focus on self-care can neglect responsibilities and relationships.
Learn ContinuouslyEmpowering: Gaining knowledge enhances skills and adaptability.
Disempowering: Constant learning without application can become overwhelming and unproductive.
Build ResilienceEmpowering: Bouncing back from setbacks strengthens you.
Disempowering: Persistent adversity without support can lead to burnout.
Assert YourselfEmpowering: Expressing needs and boundaries leads to mutual respect.
Disempowering: Over-assertiveness can come off as aggression, damaging relationships.
Foster Positive RelationshipsEmpowering: Supportive relationships provide encouragement and strength.
Disempowering: Dependence on others for validation can undermine self-sufficiency.
Embrace ChangeEmpowering: Adaptability leads to growth and new opportunities.
Disempowering: Constant change can cause instability and stress.
Practice GratitudeEmpowering: Focusing on positives enhances overall happiness.
Disempowering: Overlooking problems in the name of gratitude can prevent necessary action.
Stay AuthenticEmpowering: Being true to yourself fosters integrity and satisfaction.
Disempowering: Rigidity in authenticity can prevent growth and adaptation.
Empower OthersEmpowering: Uplifting others creates a supportive community.
Disempowering: Overextending yourself to help others can deplete your own resources.
Develop Critical ThinkingEmpowering: Informed decisions lead to better outcomes.
Disempowering: Excessive scepticism can lead to cynicism and distrust.
Celebrate SuccessesEmpowering: Recognising achievements boosts morale and motivation.
Disempowering: Excessive celebration of minor achievements can hinder further progress.
Set IntentionsEmpowering: Clear intentions provide direction and focus.
Disempowering: Over-emphasis on intentions without action can lead to inaction.
Nurture CreativityEmpowering: Creative activities inspire and fulfil you.
Disempowering: Focusing too much on creativity can distract from practical responsibilities.
Stay PositiveEmpowering: A positive mindset encourages resilience and problem-solving.
Disempowering: Toxic positivity can lead to ignoring genuine issues and emotions.
I remember the first time I really thought about and realised I had power. This realisation came at a time when doing even one of those things in that list was inconceivable to me and when I was a prisoner in a broken body. It was when I felt the most disempowered I ever had in my life. I was in the grip of a chronic illness which had progressively been getting worse for years and I was almost entirely house and bed-bound. My life was pain, fatigue, social isolation, with little or no control over my bodily functions let alone anything else. Even the most optimistic prognosis being that the decline in my health could only be slowed or managed.
Yet, in the midst of all of this, I realised I had power. I think why it took me so long to get to this point was misapplication of what I considered the most powerful part of me: my warrior. In those days, all my warrior knew to do was fight. It had been fighting my entire life. So, when I became ill, it fought to be healthy, to deny what I was becoming. It railed against the fact that every role in my life that I prided myself on, was gone. No longer the ‘good’ daughter, sister, friend, I was now the burden, the one who needed to be cared for. No longer an intellectual as I could barely read or speak, no longer the rising star at some corporate job, as I was unable to work. I hadn’t known it, but my sense of power had come from being good at those things.
It was acceptance that opened the door to my own sense of personal power. That’s the beauty of having something like a chronic illness, you can argue, deny and fight it all you want, it still persists. There came a time when I had tried every treatment, every therapy. I had to accept that this was my life now. Acceptance sounds wonderful, but things actually got much darker for a while after that. I grieved the loss of hope, of my dreams, my future, my life. I grieved the loss of me.
But then in that darkness, I realised if I was experiencing this darkness, all this grief and sadness, then there was still a me that existed. Who was the me who was feeling all this? Who was the me asking that me that question? Slowly, from here, I began to realise that my life and functionality may not be ideal, but I still had a life to live and within the scope of what I had available to me, I could find all the things that I have grown to understand all humans need: meaning, purpose, humour, connection.
I am sure there are variations of this story that you have heard again and again, often told as awakening stories. I want to be clear, I do not tout this as an awakening story. I think it gives the wrong impression for me to do so. Sat here almost two decades later, it’s easy to frame it with this language, but that was not my experience at the time. It was brutal. Also, it would be irresponsible for me to do so, because it is from hearing stories such as these that people have the expectation of some enlightening experience in the moment. Everything can be an enlightening experience if we have the power to face it fully in the moment and then reflect on it from further down the road. I will be looking more at that next week. For now, let me just say, in my experience, I have known (or awakened to, if you prefer) more of my own nature through those moments of silent pain, anguish and desperation.
So no, I don’t think being a certain way or doing certain things makes one powerful. This is why you hear me say often, it is not what you do, but what it takes to do it. I think Robert Greene’s book ‘The 48 Laws of Power’ also makes this point, although you may not realise that when you first begin to read it, or by reading the polar opposite reviews about it. Broadly speaking, there are three reactions to this book. The first two take it literally, and judge it on the merit of it’s content. Some argue that it has helped them to exert power, dominance and all the other tricks and manipulations contained in the laws and so they feel powerful. Others call the book vile and evil, egomaniacal and the narcissist’s handbook. In an interview, even the author referred to his book as ‘vaporous poison’. Greene’s book appears to be a how-to manual that blends historical anecdotes, philosophical insights, and pragmatic strategies to understand and navigate the complexities of power dynamics. The controversy seems to stem from the fact that it lays bare the often unspoken rules of power that operate beneath the surface of human interactions.
I had this book on my to-read list for many years, but had not been able to bring myself to read it until the beginning of last year. Even when I started to read it, as you no doubt know if you were on Discord at the time, I found it’s contents brutal and referred to it as amoral and speaking to my deepest fears and doubts about humanity. I wanted to sit and cry. I was still reading it, when somebody asked me if I would recommend ‘The 48 Laws of Power’ and my response was:
“I'm going to say YES, but only because it's been on my to-read list for years and years. It is an interesting study into the shadow of humanity and the collective and has some great historical stories. There are a few laws that I absolutely am on board with and I totally agree with him, that self-mastery and self-control are key. BUT I have some fundamental disagreements with him on what it means to be a friend, or even what power is - this book is not about power, but about winning and the 2 are not the same thing for me.” (Aquarian Insight Discord server #book-club. 25 January 2023)
By the time my torturous journey ended on the last page of the book, I was absolutely in awe and shared the following:
“I finally finished The 48 Laws of Power 2 nights ago and one of the last paragraphs of the book pretty much states how this book went for me. I have been very vocal about how brutal I found this read, but that is not to say I got nothing out of it - I got so much. Everywhere we look we find ourselves, and sometimes in the darkest places, is where the most illuminating ideas come up. Were it not for this book, I don't know if I would have done the 'Collective Illusions' video. Something about writing out my dream reminded me of this paragraph. So I am sharing it here and I feel it is the perfect ending and adds a totally new dimension to what I just read, and a new level of awareness. Someone asked me before if I would recommend this book. I wasn't sure of my answer then. Now, I would say a resounding YES. It is very similar to shit that happens in our life - when you go through it, you have a choice. You can blame the people, things, situations and leave it at that, and I could very easily just blame the author and the book, or you can be open to finding who you are, no matter what ugliness just happened. In that way, I think this author is a genius - he showed more about self-awareness and self-mastery by taking the reader on this journey than by just telling - this extra dimension is something I very much try to bring to my own work and aspire to do it as masterfully as Robert Greene did.” (Aquarian Insight Discord server #book-club. 6 February 2023)
This is the paragraph I was referring to:
“Finally, learning to adapt to each new circumstance means seeing events through your own eyes, and often ignoring the advice that people constantly peddle your way. It means that ultimately you must throw out the laws that others preach, and the books they write to tell you what to do, and the sage advice of the elder. ‘The laws that govern circumstances are abolished by new circumstances,’ Napoleon wrote, which means that it is up to you to gauge each new situation. Rely too much on other people's ideas and you end up taking a form not of your own making. Too much respect for other people's wisdom will make you depreciate your own. Be brutal with the past, especially your own, and have no respect for the philosophies that are foisted on you from outside.” (Robert Greene – ‘The 48 Laws of Power’)
Another, more familiar way to state these sentiments is the part of the Serenity Prayer that most people are familiar with:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference."
The Serenity Prayer beautifully compliments the concepts of self-mastery and discernment in the pursuit and expression of personal power. It encourages a balanced approach to life, where acceptance, courage, and wisdom guide one’s actions and decisions. By integrating these principles, individuals can cultivate a powerful, resilient, and ethically grounded presence, capable of navigating the complexities of life with grace and effectiveness. This holistic approach ensures that personal power, or the way one moves dynamically through life, is done thoughtfully and harmoniously, contributing to both personal fulfilment and positive influence on others.
This is why I am a proponent of ‘Amor Fati’ or love of fate, a concept that encourages embracing everything that happens in life, both good and bad, as necessary and beneficial. Everything is an opportunity that encourages acceptance of reality, embracing challenges, while retaining inner peace. We don’t define our power by what we do or achieve nor by who or what we are faced with. Rather power becomes the way to move through life and an expression of our own life force, capabilities and values.
The path to Leo season was a profound and magical one for me. I had so many dreams, visions, signs and messages that I had thought I would share. But, in and of themselves, they don’t mean anything. The power comes from incorporating them into my understanding and my expressions this season and beyond. Of all the dreams I decided not to share, there is one that I feel I must. This is a fragment of a much bigger dream, and it took place in an apocalyptic dreamscape. I saw humans imprisoned behind feeble chain-link fences. These fences, were so insubstantial, and yet they held scattered groups of individuals, each standing apart. Thinking about this dream afterwards, I realised that if they had all worked together, they could have broken the fences very easily. Hence the quote of the season: “Rise like Lions after slumber In unvanquishable number, Shake your chains to earth like dew Which in sleep had fallen on you - Ye are many - They are few.” A figure effortlessly opened up a gate and entered the fenced in areas. This person carried a big sack and announced that within it were superpowers for everyone. The imprisoned people began to take note and approach the figure who handed out masks. The first mask was that of a lion, given to a human with lion-like features. Each mask, unique and tailored to enhance what already existed within the person, did not conceal but revealed and amplified innate strengths. Our superpowers are intrinsic, waiting to be recognised, embraced and expressed. The power is knowing that we have them and the willingness to express from that place.
Here’s the thing, we can talk about being lions and rising up together, but until we recognise, embrace and dynamically express our own power, this remains just that...talk. The biggest barrier to this is when we engage with the world as if we are powerless. When we look to others for permission to be who we are, and when we aim to reduce our experiences to only those we find comfortable, we diminish our true potential. What we cannot express individually, we cannot hope to do as a group, because those collectives then become disempowering. They define us and give the illusion of empowerment, when it is nothing more than power by might and mob rule. The purity of our intentions, our love and our values fails to shine through, and this is what we see a lot in the world of groups with the best of intentions, wreaking such devastating havoc and becoming what they hope to overcome. When a truly self-empowered individual shows up not just for themselves, but for others too, then we connect, no matter what the differences, and find powerful ways to bring about change. Are you ready to go hunting as the Sun?
Wow❤️