Self-Care and the Nurturer and Achiever Archetypes

Part 2 – Working with Cancer season 2024

In my last post, I explored Cancer in each of the houses and the Moon in each of the signs of the zodiac to bring awareness to how we work with these energies. Often, this is an area where we can have problems with vulnerability and an imbalance between nurturing the self and others. Cancer is misunderstood and under-appreciated, and one of the reasons for this is that most of us live in societies that appreciate and idolise Capricorn themes more than Cancer. I have talked about this before, in terms of the erosion of the family unit and the rise of massive corporations, but in this post, I will be taking a deeper look at this and self-care. There is another way to look at these energies if we view Cancer through the lens of the Nurturer archetype and Capricorn as the Achiever.

Cancer: The Nurturer

Symbolises: Emotional depth, home, family, care giving, empathy, intuition.

Archetype Description: The Nurturer embodies the qualities of empathy, compassion, and emotional sensitivity. They are deeply connected to their home and family, prioritising nurturing and caring for others above personal ambition. The Nurturer thrives in environments where emotional well-being and connection are valued, creating safe and supportive spaces for those around them.

Capricorn: The Achiever

Symbolises: Ambition, discipline, success, authority, structure, responsibility.

Archetype Description: The Achiever represents the pursuit of success and achievement in the external world. They are driven by ambition, discipline, and a desire for recognition and status. The Achiever excels in competitive environments, climbing the corporate ladder or achieving prominence in their field through hard work and determination. They are respected for their ability to set goals, overcome obstacles, and lead others towards success.

In modern society, the archetype of the Achiever (Capricorn) is often glorified and rewarded, while the archetype of the Nurturer (Cancer) is undervalued and overlooked. The emphasis on material success, status, and external validation perpetuates the notion that personal worth is tied to professional achievements and financial wealth. Consequently, roles traditionally associated with nurturing, care giving, and emotional labour, such as stay-at-home parenting, are often devalued and marginalised.

This societal bias towards the Achiever archetype reinforces the prioritisation of career advancement and financial gain over personal relationships, emotional well-being, and the importance of nurturing and caring for others. Care giving roles are often unpaid or underpaid. Even when it comes to self-care, we tend to approach it in a very individualistic, materialistic way and connect it to work. What I mean by this is that time off work is seen as self-care, and retail therapy may also be seen as self-care. But more about this later.

By recognising and valuing the contributions of the Nurturer archetype, society can shift towards a more balanced and holistic understanding of success and fulfilment. This involves acknowledging the importance of emotional connection, empathy, and care giving in creating supportive and compassionate communities. It also requires challenging societal norms and structures that currently prioritise material wealth and external validation at the expense of human connection and well-being.

I want to be clear, I am in no way shape or form trying to say ‘Cancer Good’ ‘Capricorn Bad’. As my viewers know by now, each season we look at the relationship between the sign of the season and its opposite sign, which is an axis of energy. So, this season we are embracing with Cancer and releasing with Capricorn.

But even before we can nurture, what are we nurturing and how? What we’re nurturing is our emotional well-being and we’ll be looking at that in the next post, but the how is usually encapsulated by ‘self-care’. I mean, even I have sprinkled that term liberally throughout these posts.

In modern society, self-care has become a buzzword, often associated with simplistic and sometimes even unhealthy activities aimed at providing temporary relief or distraction from life's challenges. It's not uncommon to hear advice like "treat yourself" or "take a bubble bath" as a remedy for stress or emotional discomfort. There is nothing wrong with those activities in and of themselves; however, as a long-term practice, this narrow view of self-care fails to address the deeper needs of individuals and often perpetuates harmful coping mechanisms.

True self-care goes beyond superficial indulgences and involves cultivating a holistic approach to well-being that encompasses physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of the self. It's about nurturing ourselves on a deeper level and developing resilience in the face of life's ups and downs because those ups and downs are inevitable and any self-care practice must allow us to cope rather than avoid. The crab would not need a hard shell if all it was going to do was withdraw and hide. I believe the imagery of the crab is to remind us that we are resilient enough to face life.

This leads to a common misconception about self-care, that it involves withdrawing or avoiding anything that feels challenging or uncomfortable. In reality, genuine self-care requires us to confront and address our struggles head-on, rather than burying them beneath distractions or numbing them with temporary fixes. It's about acknowledging our emotions, seeking support when needed, and engaging in practices that promote growth and healing.

For example, there are heart breaking stories in the documentary ‘Medicating Normal’ where people facing the problems of long-term antidepressant use describe how they felt they had been prescribed antidepressants as a quick fix for very normal emotional distress, such as grief. In hindsight, what some of those people felt was that they really needed support during an understandably difficult time, not to be numbed out by medication. The documentary also discusses how in the past, community members, religious leaders, and family used to play that role of caretaker to help individuals in distress. But now, not just serious mental health issues are medicated, but often any emotion that is not the comfortably numb normal. We’ve forgotten how to feel ‘bad’ and it is important to be able to, as we shall see in the next post on emotional well-being. True self-care involves exploring the underlying causes of our feelings and addressing them through therapy, support groups, or other forms of holistic treatment if need be. It's about building resilience and coping skills that enable us to navigate life's challenges with greater ease and self-awareness.

Moreover, self-care isn't just about focusing on ourselves in isolation; it also involves nurturing our relationships and creating healthy boundaries with others. Numerous studies and research findings have shown that human connection is one of the most important factors for human happiness and well-being. Therefore, social isolation can be one of the least caring things we can do to ourselves. This means identifying our needs and communicating them openly and assertively, rather than sacrificing our well-being to please others or avoiding conflict. It's about fostering authentic connections and surrounding ourselves with supportive individuals who respect and uplift us as we do the same for them.

I really believe that by challenging the misconception that self-care is synonymous with self-indulgence or avoidance, we can promote a more nuanced and empowering understanding of true well-being. But to do this, we need to navigate the very core of Cancer... feelings, that will be the topic of my next post. In the meantime, why don’t you check out the tarot readings I will be doing for Cancer season.