The Three Faces of Feelings
The Three Faces of Feelings
Maiden, Mother and Crone
[This is the post I referred to in ‘Saying What Only I Can Say’ so be sure to check out that one if you haven’t already, as it will also explain why I didn’t record me reading this one.]
A major part of my work for the better part of the past decade has been around the empowerment of individuals. This has been accomplished using spiritual tools for self-reflection, through self-awareness in their own relationships, work and collectively. If you’ve read any of my previous posts this season then you know that I have really been emphasising how understanding our own feelings is crucial, especially as we navigate the challenging times ahead. And there are challenging times ahead. We’re in challenging times now. This can hardly be a surprise to anyone who has witnessed the issues on personal, societal, national and global levels. I do not say this to be a doomsday prophet and in one of my next posts I will discuss how predicting the future is adding to our problems, not helping. One might think that taking time to understand our feelings during such turbulent times is an arbitrary and self-indulgent act, but as Carl Jung said in ‘The Meaning of Psychology for the Modern Man’:
“Small and hidden is the door that leads inward, and the entrance is barred by countless prejudices, mistaken assumptions, and fears. Always one wishes to hear of grand political and economic schemes, the very things that have landed every nation in a morass. Therefore it sounds grotesque when anyone speaks of hidden doors, dreams, and a world within. What has this vapid idealism got to do with gigantic economic programmes, with the so-called problems of reality?”
“But I speak not to nations, only to the individual few, for whom it goes without saying that cultural values do not drop down like manna from heaven, but are created by the hands of individuals. If things go wrong in the world, this is because something is wrong with the individual, because something is wrong with me. Therefore, if I am sensible, I shall put myself right first. For this I need - because outside authority no longer means anything to me - a knowledge of the innermost foundations of my being, in order that I may base myself firmly on the eternal facts of the human psyche.”
For many of us, much of the journey so far has been focused on ourselves, our own traumas, healing and quest for self-actualisation; which is to say that we have been concerned with realising our own personal potential and pursuing our own personal growth. I believe that self-actualisation is not possible unless we also understand that we play a role in the collective. Strauss and Howe stated it perfectly in their book ‘The Fourth Turning’ when they said: “Yet even while we exalt our own personal growth, we realize that millions of self-actualized persons don't add up to an actualized society”.
In many ways, what I am sharing here, especially through the symbology of the triple Goddess from the ‘Lasya of Parvati’ card in the weekly message, is born from my own journey and to give it an astrological slant, specifically from transits involving my Saturn in Cancer. Saturn at 29 degrees of Cancer in the 8th house invites significant lessons around emotional security, family dynamics, and deep personal transformation. The critical 29th degree intensifies these themes, urging one to master the lessons of nurturing and resilience. Furthermore, emotional vulnerability and issues around control and trust are key areas of growth.
My early life was marked by a lack of self-nurturing and I compensated for this by nurturing others in an unhealthy way, by becoming a people pleaser and a co-dependent enabler. My Saturn return, which was preceded by Pluto transiting my ascendant, brought severe chronic illness which, thankfully, gave me the opportunity (though at the time it felt as though I was forced) to really learn about my own needs and to nurture myself.
In 2020, both Saturn and Pluto opposed my natal Saturn, marking a period of profound restructuring and transformation. This alignment allowed me to confront limitations in my emotional well-being, take on new responsibilities, and I underwent and continue to undergo deep psychological changes. The intense energy of Pluto brought about powerful external events, requiring me to release old patterns and embrace new beginnings, ultimately leading to greater emotional resilience and empowerment. I talk about this period because this was when I very intentionally and actively worked with the triple goddess in my personal growth. There were many signs and messages from the end of 2019 that I feel were preparing me for this next phase in my life (in the same way I believe we are all being prepared to take on what comes next) suffice to say, what that boils down to is that I became aware of the energy of Hecate. If you were on the Aquarian Insight Discord server in 2020, then you know that I shared a lot of those experiences. More recently I have been working with the divine feminine energies of Beira, Sophia and Shekinah (the full moon in Sagittarius happened on the asteroid Sophia placement in my chart). I never anticipated that I would work so actively with divine Goddess energy as it is not something that I was ever drawn to, or to be quite frank, even interested in. I have Jupiter and Chiron in Aries in my 4th house and so the warrior’s path has always been a more appealing way to frame my journey. But I have learned that the divine feminine and the warrior are not mutually incompatible. This was shown by the oracle card in the weekly reading, and the examples it gave of the sacred triune of feminine nature in Hinduism.
The energy of Hecate, the triple goddess, entering my life at that time, reshaped my perception of emotions and their cyclical nature, thus enhancing my ability to come out of myself and consider broader emotional perspectives of others. The three faces of Hecate are the maiden, the mother and the crone. For complete transparency, these energies were, at first, uncomfortable and even upsetting, for me to integrate, especially as they came hand-in hand with my first experience of perimenopause symptoms. My initial reaction was “I’m not ready to be an old crone!” and is evidence of me being the product of a society that is obsessed with youthfulness – we increasingly have no place for maturation and wisdom that comes with age. But all this showed was my ignorance of the fact that of the three faces, the Crone is the most powerful.
Furthermore, these three archetypes help us understand the various facets of our feelings on multiple levels, especially when considered through the lens of the lunar cycles. Just as the Moon reflects the light of the Sun, our emotional self mirrors the identity we project to the world.
The Maiden: The Waxing Moon In the maiden phase, our emotions are fresh and immediate, similar to a child's instinctive reactions. This stage represents new beginnings and growth, where we start to hide parts of ourselves deemed unacceptable by ourselves or others, to gain or maintain approval and love, thus forming our shadow. The waxing moon, beginning as a crescent and gradually building in light, symbolizes this increasing awareness and the formation of hidden aspects. Initially, like the crescent moon, we reflect very little because we lack the wisdom and experience to do so. This phase not only corresponds to our younger years but also to any time we encounter new emotional reactions or face new situations and challenges. In these moments, we are like the maiden, exploring uncharted emotional territory, filled with curiosity and potential, but also susceptible to forming new shadows as we navigate new experiences. This is one of the reasons why I emphasise that coming outside of the known and broadening our horizons can be deeply uncomfortable, even when we want the new experiences, and for many people the inability or reluctance to face this uncertainty is what keeps them stuck. Discomfort and difficult emotions are not a sign of something being wrong at this stage, but are to be expected.
The Mother: The Full Moon As we transition into the mother phase, our emotions reach their fullest expression, influencing the dynamics we create. This is where our shadow, substantial yet often unacknowledged, is projected onto others. The full moon, shining brightly with reflected light, mirrors how our emotions reflect our ego and chosen identity, often denying the darker, yet still very much natural, aspects we keep hidden. Astrologically, the full moon represents a time of culmination, clarity, and heightened emotions. Similarly, in the mother phase, we are at the peak of emotional intensity, fully engaging with our emotions and their impact on our relationships and environment. This phase is not just about physical motherhood but encompasses the nurturing and creative aspects of our emotional lives. It is when we cultivate and manifest our emotional energy, affecting those around us and shaping our reality. We might find in this phase that we keep encountering the same kinds of experiences, for example, the faces change but the relationships stay the same.
The Crone: The Waning Moon Finally, the crone phase invites wisdom and introspection. The crone integrates the shadow, accepting it as part of the self. Though the light wanes, symbolizing the ability to let go, the shadow is understood and embraced, leading to a balanced existence. This phase corresponds to older age, but also to any time we reflect on and gain insight into our internal emotional processes. Letting go in this phase happens through integration, not by removing external factors that upset us, as we might have done in our less experienced phase. The waning moon, with its diminishing light, represents the process of release and the deep understanding that comes with age and experience. Unlike the maiden, the crone reflects less not due to a lack of wisdom, but because of the profound insight and acceptance gained over time. In the crone phase, we draw upon our accumulated wisdom, finding strength in the acceptance of our whole selves, including the shadow, without being attached to one identity. This allows us to navigate life with a deeper sense of peace and clarity and therefore more empowered.
The term ‘integration of shadow’ gets used a lot, but what does it mean? It is a way of balancing both the light and dark sides of ourselves, forming a unified whole from our polar opposites. In her book ‘Saturn: A New Look at an Old Devil’, Liz Greene discusses the integration of such opposites. She says that the functions these polar opposites symbolise “...need to be integrated within the conscious awareness of the individual if he is to make any real steps in growth. But the human intellect is not accustomed to seeing opposites as having the same meaning.” Failing to reconcile these opposites within ourselves, often leads to projecting them onto the collective, evident even among the most well-intentioned individuals.
Understanding this dynamic, we may work hard to grasp our own perceptions and become confident in expressing them. However, if we cannot step outside of these perceptions, they can hinder growth and resilience, preventing us from recognising other perspectives. At a mundane level, this often results in bickering and arguing to get others to see our point of view, or lacking empathy for others, typically shown through criticism and judgment. An inability to adopt a broader perspective can lead to inter-personal and career challenges. We may double down on our perception, perhaps with righteous indignation and either look for others whose perceptions most closely resemble our own, at least initially, because inevitably we will realise that they too are different, or habitually cut out differing interactions. We never build emotional resilience this way.
To build this resilience, we must embrace the maiden, mother, and crone within us - react, nurture, and integrate - rather than running away. By feeling deeply and moving through these phases, we embody the full spectrum of human emotion. This process allows us to transcend selfish perceptions and understand the diverse perspectives that make us human. The need for this will become increasingly apparent in the coming months. Astrologically, the upcoming transits of planets moving through Leo opposing Pluto in Aquarius for the first time in over 200 years, will highlight these tensions. We are being prepared for what’s to come, and the narrow well of self will no longer suffice.
Understanding our own perceptions is the just the first, albeit, major step. In my upcoming posts, I will delve deeper into this monumental shift, exploring how we can navigate this energy and show up collectively to create the changes we need. I’ll also discuss the end of Cancer season and the significant transition into Leo season, highlighting the massive shift in energy and the necessity for us to adapt and collaborate more effectively.
Additionally, I will be exploring the changing communication styles with Jupiter in Gemini. Effective communication is crucial as we move forward. We must learn to convey our thoughts and perspectives clearly to one another, as relying solely on intuition or assumption isn’t sufficient. This upcoming post will address how we can enhance our communication to better understand and connect with each other.